How many times have we not said something to someone because we love them, and don’t want to hurt their feelings?   How often have we not acted because by taking action the person you love may become very upset and possibly angry with us?  Or it may be that by saying or doing something, a situation becomes more real and it then needs to be dealt with.

Frequently, adult children with aging parents don’t want to hurt their parent’s feelings so they endanger their safety instead.  A few examples are allowing them to cook when they forget to turn off the stove; taking medication unsupervised knowing they aren’t  taking it as prescribed, a drug taken too often can be extremely dangerous, and if not taken, no benefit can be derived from it; and allowing parents to continue to drive when they are putting themselves and others at high risk. 

These are just a few of the very difficult issues adult children must confront when dealing with aging parents, grandparents, other relatives or friends.  It is hard to watch our parents change, mentally and physically.  The role of parent and child are exchanged. 

When we were young, our parents didn’t hesitate to tell us we couldn’t do something because it was dangerous.  Often we couldn’t see the danger and argued with them, but they stood firm, because it helped to keep us safe and they loved us.  Now we must do the same for them.   These changes may put additional work and/or stress on adult children.  However, the changes need to be made, and there is help available. 

Yes, Seniors should remain as independent as possible for as long as possible.  However, you need to take a step back and objectively look at your parent’s situation.   How steady is their balance – do they tend to fall easily?  What can be done to make their home safer?   Do they need help with the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning or laundry?  Is it safe for them to drive – how is their vision – do they get lost going to familiar places?  Are they safe in their current residence or do they need to move to a community where help is readily available?

These are not easy decisions, but they must be made with safety in mind.  When this is done, love shines through.

If you or someone you know is in this difficult position, there is solution! Call Judy Doyle-Martin at 586-914-4630 or judy@seniorchoicesllc.com. SENIOR CHOICES, LLC, located in Macomb County, Michigan will help you make informed decisions for peace of mind.  Serving Macomb, Oakland, and Wayne counties.